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Bargaining vs. Negotiation: Why Good Negotiators Never Need to Bargain
Negotiating and Bargaining are often thought of as the same thing. From the Black Swan perspective, they are drastically different. And if you want...
Thou Shalt Not Split The Difference: 7 Reasons Why
You left Black Swans (hidden opportunities) on the table You build in a downward spiral You hurt the relationship It’s bad for your prosperity long...
Understanding Power Through the Lens of Tactical Empathy®
One of the key Laws of Negotiation Gravity is that fear of loss is the single biggest driver of human decision making and behavior. When you look a t...
Discovering Black Swans: Turning Everyday Moments into Big Wins
Picking up from where we left off—the hospital room, the nurse, the unexpected rapport. Tone and Tactical Empathy® cracked the door open, but what...
How Tone, Rapport, and Tactical Empathy® Saved My Day at the Hospital on the Recovery Gurney
Waking up from anesthesia is like getting shoved into a world that doesn’t make sense. Sounds are too loud. Lights are too bright. Your own body...
The Power of 'How Am I Supposed to Do That?' - A Negotiation Perspective
In the high-stakes world of hostage negotiation, words can mean the difference between life and death. During my years as the FBI's lead...
Timing Your Calibrated Question: How to Use “How Am I Supposed to Do That?” Effectively
"How am I supposed to do that?"—it's one of the most powerful phrases in negotiation, but most people fumble the timing. This Calibrated Question, an...
How to Stop Negotiating With Yourself
The Black Swan skills are fascinating. Developing them each day keeps your mind nimble and your relationships bomb-proof. Some challenges help you...
Leadership: Challenges, Tactical Empathy®, and Avoiding Common Mistakes
Leadershipis inherently challenging. It demands not only the ability to guide but also to inspire others to collaborate and achieve a shared vision....
Emotional Intelligence Rules for Delivering Bad News Successfully
Delivering bad news is never easy, but it’s an inevitable part of personal and professional life. How you communicate bad news can impact...
Ego-Labeling: The Three Words That Unlock Doors
I was preparing for a high-stakes talk at JP Morgan. Two hours before I went on stage—right before Jamie Dimon, no less—my PowerPoint got flagged for...
The Kill Line: Know When to Walk Away
One of the most memorable learning exercises I remember as a hostage negotiator was conducted in the parking lot of our local police department. We...