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The Power of 'How Am I Supposed to Do That?' - A Negotiation Perspective
In the high-stakes world of hostage negotiation, words can mean the difference between life and death. During my years as the FBI's lead...
Timing Your Calibrated Question: How to Use “How Am I Supposed to Do That?” Effectively
"How am I supposed to do that?"—it's one of the most powerful phrases in negotiation, but most people fumble the timing. This Calibrated Question, an...
How to Stop Negotiating With Yourself
The Black Swan skills are fascinating. Developing them each day keeps your mind nimble and your relationships bomb-proof. Some challenges help you...
Leadership: Challenges, Tactical Empathy®, and Avoiding Common Mistakes
Leadershipis inherently challenging. It demands not only the ability to guide but also to inspire others to collaborate and achieve a shared vision....
Emotional Intelligence Rules for Delivering Bad News Successfully
Delivering bad news is never easy, but it’s an inevitable part of personal and professional life. How you communicate bad news can impact...
Ego-Labeling: The Three Words That Unlock Doors
I was preparing for a high-stakes talk at JP Morgan. Two hours before I went on stage—right before Jamie Dimon, no less—my PowerPoint got flagged for...
The Kill Line: Know When to Walk Away
One of the most memorable learning exercises I remember as a hostage negotiator was conducted in the parking lot of our local police department. We...
4 Experts, 1 Game-Changing Strategy: Mastering No-Oriented Questions in Negotiations
Negotiations are not about manipulating or coercing; they're about creating an environment where trust and collaboration thrive. At The Black Swan...
Let’s Put ‘Yes’ Out of Its Misery. ‘Yes’ Is Not Agreement.
At its very best, yes is only an aspiration, a hope. But hope is not a strategy, and aspiration is not agreement. Here’s why. When Never Split the...
From Hostage Negotiations to Happy Marriages: The Secret Communication Hack You Need
Let’s dive into one of my favorite topics—relationships. Whether it’s at home, at work, or somewhere in between, relationships are the foundation of...
Polite to Powerful: The Two-Millimeter Shift to Elevated Conversations
Tell me more… At first glance, the phrase “Tell me more” seems like an impactful and thoughtful statement. Often, it is used as a polite prompt to...
6 Powerful Strategies for Turning Disappointment Into Opportunity
Moving on from disappointment without burning bridges is a delicate balancing act. It requires self-awareness and the right communication techniques...