Mislabeling—using Labels™ to express an unspoken element of the conversation but getting it wrong—is a Black Swan skill many people use on accident. You misread the other side, put the info out there, and happen to get it wrong.
When you use a Mislabel by mistake, it’s not a problem. As the first Law of Negotiation Gravity™ teaches us, the urge to correct is irresistible, meaning the other side will be eager to correct anything you misinterpret.
Sometimes, it can be beneficial to create a Mislabel on purpose. We call this the Black Swan Lie Detector. If you put something out there and it’s wrong, the other side will correct it with the truth. This can give you valuable, honest information.
For example, if you’re in a business negotiation and are unsure what’s going on, you might use a Mislabel like this: It doesn’t seem like you’re ready to sign a contract with us. Hopefully, the counterpart will correct you: No, we’re absolutely ready.
When you receive inbound business, you can use Proof of Life™ questions to determine whether you’re the favorite or the fool: With so many businesses to choose from, why do you want to work with us? If the other side tells you that your business has a great reputation, creates excellent products, and has unbeatable prices, there’s a deal to be had. Conversely, you’re likely the fool if the other side says: I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?
Although this works for inbound business, you can’t use the same tactic on an outbound call. That would be weird. Instead, you can use Mislabels to the same effect: It seems there may be a lot of other companies you’re considering for this service?
Again, you hope to be corrected here: Oh no, we’re not looking at that many possible businesses. If they are considering a large number of other companies, you would be better off spending your time elsewhere.
There’s no upside to leaning on Mislabels heavily. If you Mislabel too many times, the other side will assume you’re not listening, not paying attention, and not hearing them—the opposite of Tactical Empathy™. They’ll lose faith and decide not to do business with you because you don’t listen.
You’ll appear manipulative if you constantly Mislabel what the other side says. Your counterpart might not know exactly what you’re doing with a heavy use of Mislabels, but they will know you’re up to something.
Of course, they might just think you’re the kind of person who misinterprets every element of a conversation. Because most individuals like doing business with people they like, the constant use of Mislabels will backfire. The other side will think you’re unintelligent or overly self-involved and won’t want to work with you.
When you use a Mislabel on accident, it can derail your approach. You think you’re Labeling a situation correctly, but you’ve misread the room.
In such a situation, you may need to reverse direction quickly. For example, if you’ve been dealing with someone for a long time and want to continue to do business, you might try a Mislabel: It seems like you no longer want to do business with us?
What if your counterpart does want to do business with you, but something is holding it up? That Label may agitate them. Instead, say something like this: It seems like there might be something holding up our deal?
Although you don’t understand your counterpart’s exact position, this second Label demonstrates that you get what it’s like to have something unexpected hold up your business dealings, bringing you that much closer to a trust-based influence.
Now that you understand Mislabels and how they can help you make better deals, continue learning by checking out this infographic: The Black Swan Group’s Negotiation 9™.