Mastering Negotiations: Countering Yes Tie-downs for Greater Control

What Steps Are Necessary To Counter The Use Of Yes Tie-downs?

The Black Swan Group works hard to give you the edge in negotiations and difficult conversations. Many of our clients have worked hard and practiced, becoming expert-level negotiators. In some classes, we talk about the protection of the word no. Yes is not an agreement; it is, at best, an aspiration. Yes is a commitment, and no is protection. You have probably had people give you a counterfeit yes before. They had no intention of going forward, but the only way they could get out of the conversation was to provide you with a yes. The Black Swan Group recognizes yes for what it is: a push in a direction we might not want to go. It is uncomfortable to find our counterparts using yes-momentum and yes tie-downs against us. But we are not just consumers; we are Black Swan-trained consumers!

Yes-momentum is a manipulative tactic that tries to coerce your counterpart into saying yes to several questions.  The theory is that you are more likely to agree to buy what is being sold if you have said yes several times before the bigger ask. What’s weird about this theory is that the yeses do not have to have anything to do with what is being sold! If you find yourself using this, you should stop immediately. The other side will know they are being manipulated. You will get a counterfeit, yes, and you will never hear from them again.       

“Yes” tie-downs are even worse. “Yes” tie-downs lock a counterpart into a series of agreements. Many sales training methods utilizing these weaponized yes tactics are proud of how they herd people into agreements they are uncomfortable with. It is all about making the sale. Trust and long-term relationships are not a consideration.

You probably know better than to use these tactics. What steps will you take when these techniques are used on you?

If you sense that the questions you are being asked are yes-oriented, you should work to uncover your counterpart's motivation. Consider making a list of Labels you can use to accomplish this. “It sounds like you have a reason for asking that” is an excellent way to avoid saying yes and, at the same time, gather information from the other side. Remember, people who push for yes are trying to control the conversation. The Black Swan method will give them the illusion of control while protecting you from being trapped in a bad deal.  

Mirrors are another great tool when you are overwhelmed by yes tie-downs. Keep your Mirror short, and remember, follow it with Dynamic Silence. Don’t discount Dynamic Silence as a stand-alone defense to the yes-oriented salesperson. When you get asked a yes-oriented question and say nothing, the other side will have difficulty resisting the urge to begin negotiating against themselves. 

What can an Accommodator or low and slow voice tone, coupled with some simple Black Swan techniques, do to get you out in front of this hideous push for a yes? Imagine you are receiving a phone call from a salesperson trained to get you to say yes. The Black Swan Method makes it all about the person you are talking to, not the deal they seek.  

Caller: “Good morning. Have you ever worried about your financial future?”  

You: (Label to test the motivation of the question) “It feels like you have a reason for asking that?” 

Caller: Checks script and, after a brief silence, continues with a yes tie-down: “You want to live comfortably in retirement, right?”

You: (Label) “It sounds like you are not ready to discuss specifics?”

Caller: Falls off the script but bounces back; I am trying to find out if you have taken steps to secure your family’s future against rising costs.”  

You: (Mirror) Costs?

Caller: Yes, the costs of everything right now. “Do you want future generations of your family to prosper?”

You: (Employ dynamic silence)

Caller: I am prepared to offer you a free investment evaluation and to send you materials to help you learn about our financial products.  

You: It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure to get me to say yes?

Dealing with high-pressure salespeople can be stressful. If you fall back on defending yourself, you might miss an opportunity. Does your counterpart have a quota they are in danger of not reaching? What can they take to meet their company’s minimum expectations? Use the Black Swan skills to uncover the reasons behind the push for yes. 

There is always the possibility you will find hidden information that will change everything. A Black Swan!  

Don’t forget the pearl of wisdom that Chris Voss taught us: never be so sure of what you want that you would pass up something better if it came along. If you don’t know what is on the table, take a few minutes to investigate—it might result in a very lucrative deal. If it seems like a scam or the value is not there for you, these exercises are still excellent practice.     

People using yes-momentum or yes tie-downs against you could quickly throw you off your game; prepare for them. Do not let your fears stand in the way of mastering these difficult conversations. As you work through a few of these interactions, you will find that your Black Swan skills come more naturally. You might even start seeking out these types of salespeople when you experience how well the Black Swan method works with them.