How to Deal with the World’s Toughest Negotiators

Kidnappers are the world’s toughest negotiators. From our perspective, kidnapping is a horrifying event but to a kidnapper, it is simply a transaction. They are commodities dealers. They are used to a hard-bargaining approach that gets the last dime on the table. Kidnappers are also used to their counterpart’s fear of losing the deal being their leverage.
A few years back, a kidnapping occurred in Southeast Asia that didn’t turn out the way it was expected. In the final resolution, several of the victims were killed by friendly fire in a botched rescue attempt. We had done everything that we knew how and it hadn’t been enough. I knew we had to get better. Going forward, we completely changed how we opened negotiations with the world’s toughest negotiators.

We changed from coaching the basic “maybe you’ll get paid” (using an offer-counteroffer model of bargaining that leaves agreement in doubt) to coaching this:

“You’re going to get your money. How do we know (the hostage) is alive? How are we supposed to pay you if we don’t know (the hostage) is alive?”

This simple change in the logic chain gave us a huge advantage from the beginning. Telling the kidnappers they’re going to get their money is what they wanted to hear more than anything else. It made them drool like Pavlov’s dog. It was what they lusted for. There’s a reason that lust is renowned as a deadly sin: it’s intoxicating.
Once this area of agreement was established, we simply made what we wanted the means for them to get what they wanted. The rest was just a matter of working out the details. One of the main principles that we teach in our business negotiation consulting practice is that “yes is nothing without how.”

Paying was the last thing we wanted families to do. Now of course our goal in those days was to exhaust and kill them with the details. We had to ensure the safety of their loved ones first, in order to bludgeon the kidnappers with the process and work to make other outcomes occur.

The Black Swan Group’s clients today are prospering by applying our hostage negotiation strategies to their business negotiation problems. The intention to make great deals with a counterpart, not against them.

Here’s how you adjust this approach to work for you.“You’re going to get us to your deal. How do we know that this will guarantee our long-term success? How are we supposed to do it if it doesn’t guarantee our long-term success?”
The real common ground is long-term success for both sides even if the counterpart is a hard bargaining cut-throat. The hard bargainers have trouble focusing on long-term implementation because they lust so much for the deal. Relieving them of their anxiety about getting the deal from the beginning works wonders. It also greatly neutralizes their desire to make threats of walking away because they will disrupt the progress they feel they’ve made.

Follow this strategy with a solid application of empathy and make it rain!