3 Ways to Hone Your Negotiation Skills

Here are 3 ways to hone your negotiation skills. 

1. Make the ask

A common mistake people make in negotiation is never actually executing the ask. As we all know, you can’t get what you don’t express wanting. If you have taken Black Swan training you have a pretty good handle on what it takes to never pay full price for anything. If not, it is good practice to get yourself in that mind frame and give it an attempt. Make it a point to be pleasant and personable, then use that leverage to not ever pay full price.

2. Use empathy in every interaction

The second way you can continue to hone and improve your negotiation skills is always make it a point to use empathy in every single conversation you have. Despite whether or not you have skin in the game, trying to understand what the world/situation looks like from you counterparts perspective at all times keeps your blade sharp. Empathy doesn’t mean you have to like their perspective, agree with it, or feel their pain. Being able to understand and then vocalize that understanding will continue to make you a more formidable opponent. For the sake of clarity, substituting the words “I understand” as a shortcut to building empathy is a very bad idea. One bad communication habit a lot of us have is using “I understand” as a segue to be quiet so I can talk now. If you think your counterpart is blind to this, you are poorly mistaken.

3. Renegotiate household bills regularly

Lastly, call and renegotiate your cable bill every 6 months. Sometimes people feel as though they can’t get themselves into the swing of things. Calling to renegotiate your cable or any utility bill is a great way to put yourself in a simple situation where you have skin in the game, and it’s only a phone call away. The best thing about these interactions is they involve customer service reps that are used to hearing argument based positions and over agitated customers. Keep in mind that they are fluent in how to deal with those sort of interactions. In short, reverting back to old negotiation habits probably won’t get you much in dealing with them.

The adaptation of several of our skills requires the incorporation of behavioral change. Due to the counterintuitive nature of these specific skills, without consistent usage people have a tendency to revert back to their old habits. Remember, repetition is the mother of skill. This behavioral change does not necessarily mean you have to revamp yourself.

The behavioral change I am referring to is only a millimeter change. For example, have you ever said to someone “Can you tell me more about that?” This is a terrible question that we hear experienced negotiators say all the time. First of all, it is a command and not an actual question. Second, it is what we refer to at Black Swan as a yes-oriented question. If you find yourself saying this phrase in a negotiation you can just as easily substitute a label to uncover a particular dynamic. Another option is to change to a ‘what’ or ‘how’ question and incite a much more informed response.