Never Split the Difference
Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
Everything we’ve previously been taught about negotiation is wrong: you are not rational; there is no such thing as ‘fair’; compromise is the worst thing you can do; the real art of negotiation lies in mastering the intricacies of No, not Yes. These surprising tactics—which radically diverge from conventional negotiating strategy—weren’t cooked up in a classroom, but are the field-tested tools FBI agents used to talk criminals and hostage-takers around the world into (or out of) just about any scenario you can imagine. In NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator Chris Voss and co-author Tahl Raz break down these strategies so that anyone can use them in the workplace, in business, or at home.
This book blew my mind. It’s a riveting read, full of instantly actionable advice—not just for high-stakes negotiations, but also for handling everyday conflicts at work and at home.
—Adam Grant, Wharton professor and New York Times bestselling author of ORIGINALS and GIVE AND TAKE
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Who knew hostage negotiation actually uses the same principles that apply to all negotiations?! Hostage negotiation started in the 1970s, before Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking, Fast and Slow, before neuroscience, and before emotional intelligence. We thought we were dealing with an aspect of human behavior that was the exception to everyday life. What we didn’t know is that we were dealing with the essence of everyday life and had the rules for all negotiations. Here are those five rules for winning negotiations:
There’s one commonality that all effective negotiators share: they consciously make the decision to negotiate in their daily lives. It may sound simple, but deciding to negotiate in real-life situations demands stepping out of your comfort zone. In reality, it’s uncomfortable. When you decide to negotiate, you risk feeling weird or awkward, regardless of your age, intelligence, or experience level. Choosing to negotiate also means deciding to be present, to focus your attention, and to engage with your environment and your counterpart in a more deliberate way—all of which can be hard to muster if you’re tired or simply not in the mood.